So. I've pondered the best way to respond to a recent comment and here's what I've got.
"Tim Jenkins"....You can shove it. Let's review some facts:
1. Rob has spent Christmas in some dangerous armpit of the world for at LEAST the past three years (as long as I've known him) and yeah, we're both tired of it. He's currently on his 7th deployment, we're newlyweds and this is my web page, not yours.
2.If I want to take a minute and express that I'm having a rough day missing my husband of 8 weeks (2 of which we actually spent in the same country) don't get on my ass about how I'm being insensetive to those of you who are single. I'm not saying I'm the ONLY person who is, was, or ever will be lonely. Just expressing that I'm having a rough day.
3. Ask a Marine sometime what it's like when they are on these "trips". It's not like it's just a few months away and then they're home and "Oh, stop your whining Danielle. I'm ACTUALLY single and whah whah whah." Check the stats on how many of these soldiers don't make it back. And then shut your damn mouth.
4. Don't insult me with your bumper sticker "I complained about not having shoes until I met a man with no feet" bull crap. The first time that you spend Christmas in Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, or somewhere that you have to worry about more than just holiday traffic - we'll talk. Until then, since you're so insistent on the shoe proverbs, why don't you walk a mile in ours?
P.S. I find it interesting that you feel bold enough to blast me on a topic you truly do not understand, yet you sign your comments with a fake name.
This is one topic you shouldn't check me on.
Comments?
christmas time
13 years ago
24 comments:
Dear Mr Tim Jenkins... Wow..so you plan on being single for a while huh? Well, some advice, the next time you try and piss off some girl, I advise that its not a newly married Marine's wife...or her friends...I think Santa may be bringing you lots of shoes for Christmas...I advise the placement of your Christmas tree be nowhere near your ass.
You go girl!! You said it all & you said it right! Look, I wasn't around when my dad was in the Marines, but my parents' whole 1st year of marriage was apart. It sucks...I've read their letters. But the love you two have for each other will get you through. So don't let anyone get you down girl...& when they do, kick their ass on your blog!! :)
wow, angry people are scary. lots of 4-letter words. =)
Danielle, you rock! I don't think you could have said it any better.
And, TJ, from one single person to another- are you kidding me? Maybe you can't empathize but have you considered sympathy? I have- I feel so sorry for YOU, and I pray that God snaps you out of your lonely wallowing and self-righteousness. Being single is not an excuse for being heartless.
i offer my apologies for the comments; nobody has ever claimed i wasn't abbrasive, and i'd certainly never suggest i was anything but terrible with other people's feelings
its impressive this is the response i get considering i explicitly tried not to be an ass
imagine if i had actually said the first cynical thing i was thinking...
i will give you credit for not deleting the comments, as some people might have been wont to do
continue the flaming ladies, perhaps this will give you some extra material to do so...
DAMN tim got blown up, that doesnt happen often
not really defending tim's comments but c'mon y'all are acting like it's not something you knew you'd be dealing with when you get in a relationship with a marine... it's part of the package... it's kinda like complaining about being a christian cause you don't get to have all the fun... you can't (or perhaps shouldn't) complain when you know what's coming...
In response to anonymous - hmmmmm let's see. Every situation in life with comes with a manual with "what to expect"......what planet are you living on? and I hope you never have a bad day on your blog.....get in the corner with Tim and keep him company, you know the saying "Misery Loves Company"
Okay, this is Danielle's mom.....Danielle, you know better than to use bad language........I have taught you better than that, but I must admit, if you're going to use it to support the United States Marines, God will forgive you - you give it all you got girl! Rob will be proud!
Dear Tim, oh my goodness, you have open up a box of rebellion. Do you know how much this girl Danielle is loved and adored as a friend? You really need to reach deep down inside yourself and go forward no matter what you read....this has been some tough stuff, how could you know? ..... You do KNOW Danielle right.....whew what a day! I will pray for you
Hey, on a positive note, I have never seen so many comments, what to go Tim, stir up that pot - keep those cards and letters coming! :)
if you've never seen this many comments, feel free to stop by my site, where we regularly have evil mudslinging debates, our highest count hit 180 comments one time, and our average arguments reach 40+
like i said, i can be quite abrasive
and for Tara, yes, it is their blog, but they have opened it up for public comment; which is what i did
i'm sorry that everyone seems to harp on the first part of my post without realizing what my point was
that d needs to appreciate how good she does have it, even on the bad days
i thought it was an uplifting point-of-view that would help, but oh well...nobody makes the right move every time
me and the first anonymous will be in the corner if anyone needs us...
i'd like to know who that anon was
^^^^^umm well I didn't say every situation comes with a manual but I hope you can realize that life is about making choices and part of being an adult is being able to make choices based on their future consequences... and certainly in some (and dare I say most) situations you have some idea of what the future will hold... and how could you possibly suggest that it is not a well known fact that marrying into the military provides challenges and obstacles that a normal marriage life does not? I think with a minimal amount of effort one could find this out by talking to other military wives if one is not aware of such things and I would hope with something as serious as marriage it would not be too much to expect someone to try and find out some of the difficulties that one might face... life may not come with an instruction book but there are some guidelines that make it a lot easier...
countdown to someone suggesting that anonymous and I are the same person
Dear Anonymous Manual Person,
Wow! I think Danielle knew what she was getting into when she married Rob considering she spent much of last year without him near her...I didn't know it was such a crime to have feelings and express them.
Just because you know what to expect in life doesn't mean you don't have the right to have feelings about what you expected. I think you may need to be more open with your own feelings and stop criticizing other people for expressing theirs.
Dear Anonymous Manual Person,
Wow! I think Danielle knew what she was getting into when she married Rob considering she spent much of last year without him near her...I didn't know it was such a crime to have feelings and express them.
Just because you know what to expect in life doesn't mean you don't have the right to have feelings about what you expected. I think you may need to be more open with your own feelings and stop criticizing other people for expressing theirs.
I REALLY hate to prolong all of the hostility, but I just can't resist. So, anonymous person, whoever you are, now that Tim is out of the hotseat, are you suggesting that Danielle should have not married Rob? Or just that she is not allowed to have feelings about the person she loves more than anyone in the world being absent? I really don't see where her honest expression of emotion was in any way a complaint about Rob's career (b/c it has partly made him who he is) or about her choice to marry him (since you can't really help who you love).
Have you experienced much life yourself? Yes, military personnel get deployed and Danielle and everyone else on this blog site knows that. I grew up in a military family and am in the military now. At the risk of sounding like a "complainer" we actually missed my dad when he was gone and I miss and worry about my friends when they are deployed. Acknowledging the reality of deployment should not mean acting like its no big deal. The way you are arguing makes it sound like you believe that foresight into a situation takes away someone's right to acknowledge their feelings. Suppose you marry someone knowing that there is chance they could get sick one day (i.e. in sickness and in health). Are you going to not grieve with them over their cancer diagnosis because it is something you knew you might have to face? If a family loses a loved one in Iraq are they supposed to accept it with a smile because they knew that was a possibility? Maybe you should reread some of your own statements and ask yourself if they communicate what you intend and if they represent the way you actually live in your everyday life. If so, good for you, but the rest of us may not be so stoic.
uhm, i actually do know danielle, as well as several of the commenters
and again, my initial point, despite the jaded cynical lead-in, was that danielle should not forget just how good she does have it, just because it doesn't seem like she doesn't have it as good as it could be....
in my brain that seemed like encouragement, and perhaps without the first two sentences it would have been...
btw
i'm wondering now how many of you are going? "do i know this creep???"
hint: there is a picture of me right there
oh, and the anonymous person who sort-of stood up for me is probably one of my friends or regular readers; someone mentioned in one of my comments that i was getting tore up on this blog, and since i have danielle's blog linked (remember, we're friends) someone probably wandered over to see what the deal was...
i could be wrong of course, its happened before
So, Danielle, is there anyway to turn this off? I just don't think that you should be subjected to this debate, it made me sad just to read it. It is hard enough as things are. I came over to your blog hoping to get a pick me up (which your blog has been great at providing in the past few weeks) and instead found this mudslinging. I can see why you haven't posted in a few days. I don't know this 'Tim Jenkins' but he doesn't seem worth getting all upset about. He seems to have too much time on his hands due to the lack of a significant other. Which is obviously the root of this whole problem. I actually feel sorry for the guy. I hope he finds a nice girl who can put up with his spending his life on the internet, either way I'm really happy about the cheetahs. Much love, and see you soon.
ha, i'm not even gonna bother addressing that one
but a side note, ask danielle who found her that picture of the cheetas
I know Tim, and I know Danielle. This is way out of hand. I like the way all you people are tearing down Tim. What he said was very insensitive, but Tim said himself, thats Tim. If he said he meant well, then he did. He might not be smooth as silk, but he is not going to lie. you get what you get, an honest friend. He thought he was giving her some encouragement. Its kinda funny to me all of you people who, I'm sure have never said anything wrong, continue to tear him down. I figured people like you mindlessly tearing him down would be ones that practice the "forgiveness" part of christianity. but maybe that part got tore out of your bible, along with the "ye without sin throw the first stone" and i suppose you think that christ would handle this situation this way as well, i mean love is only a suggestion right??
but to Danielle, I pray for you each night that God with protect Rob, and give you strength to handle this. I know you are a special person, Rob is truly blessed, and God will not put on you more then you can handle, so hang in there, we are all praying for you.
oh snap...
this just got real interesting...
i must admit i'm growing ever more curious for the identity of my anonymous defender, although for your own safety i think it'd be best to remain unknown
well i don't know either of you but i just thought it was kind of ridiculus to see people get so bent out of shape over something said on the internet... just as a blog is a place to post whatever someone wants... it is just as much a part of the blogging community to have people respond with comments... if you don't like this you can turn the feature off and if you really don't want anyone but your friends to read this you can even password protect these things... but to have people attack others for their opinions (which everyone is entitled to... one of the best parts of the internet) is just a little childish... if you don't like it then maybe this not not the best outlet for you...
Well. Just when I thought living in a mud hut 400 miles from nowhere for 45 days was enough, I return to find that more mud awaits me. You people disappoint and embarrass me. I often find it saddening how in order to expunge or justify their feelings of loneliness or anguish concerning circumstances affecting their own lives, humans often project their own perceived faults into the lives of others they see in a similar predicament. I expect to see this self-gratifying, demeaning behavior from a group of schoolchildren, not a set of decently educated adults. I cannot recall when I have seen more fools speaking out of turn when they have nothing to say of substance, or speaking of matters wherein they are in no position to pass judgment of any kind. You people have spent obviously a good deal of your time arguing an issue that is no concern of yours in any capacity, other than perhaps to offer you a chance to display a measure of common decency which many of you seem to lack. I find it hard to believe that a few of you would have the audacity to suppose you have the first notion of what my and Danielle’s marriage is made. Though she would never mention it, the woman you so readily chastise spent the better half of the last year listening to gunfire and bomb blasts behind my voice as I called her from the rooftops in Iraq, or by the hospital bedside of my former partner when he returned home with his left leg, right arm and face blown apart, or spending yet another holiday or weekend or school night alone waiting for a ten minute phone call to make sure I was still alive. The “brave face” she has so readily worn has weathered more worry and fear for the man she loves than you could possibly conceive, yet throughout this worry and fear not once has she ever asked for sympathy from anyone, let alone those who have no idea what she is going through. I would wager that the majority of those following this thread would have folded in self-pity long ago had they been subjected to the trials that my wife has endured to sustain the love we have for one another. Not once throughout this inane debate has she sought approval for the expression of her sadness from any of you, nor does she need it. She has not asked for a manual, or guidelines, or tips on how to better manage the frustration that my career causes within our relationship, nor does she need them. Though our relationship is short on marriage, it is long on love, and to that end both of us have learned to scorn unsolicited advice on our feelings for one another. In this case, scorn is a conservative term for the sentiment I maintain for those who continue the needless banter surrounding the limited glimpse my wife provided into our lives.
In concert with my wife’s response, I entreat you to consider your audience prior to commenting on that which you cannot fathom. This holiday season, as for the past four years, I will spend my hours ensuring that you can complete your last minute gift shopping at the mall, enjoy a cup of hot cocoa, decorate your Christmas tree, and drink champagne on New Years in safety. My wife will spend her second year looking for a bright side to the emptiness of my side of our bed on Christmas Eve. She chose this path consciously, and asks no quarter or lenience from anyone for her choice. I hope, rather, that though some of you have shown her such discourtesy, she finds a bright side in the freedoms you all enjoy because of the sacrifices she chose to make in marrying and supporting me. In this case, she may cast the first stone as she pleases, and I hope the first stone knocks you on your insolent ass. My best wishes and regards to all of you for a happy holiday season…this thread ends here, without exception. –Rob sends.
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