MOVING DAY - Apply Within

I feel like I just won the Olympics. No, like the ENTIRE Olympics. The coffee table is finished and I want to shout it from the rooftops.
In other news...
We are moving this weekend...Moving is an art, really. If you want to get people to help you, you have to be willing to give a little something back. I'm thinking of drafting an application that reads something like this:

ROB AND DANIELLE'S MOVING DAY APPLICATION

(please answer honestly as liars will be gossiped about)

Name:
Address:
Are you a legal US citizen? Yes/No (we don't care but feel like this should be on the app)
Do you:
1.) Have a truck?
2.) Like cheap beer?
3.) Enjoy Dominos one topping pizzas (3 for $5)
4.) Have full use of arms and legs?
5.) Like being outdoors on what we can garuntee will either be the hottest or most rainy day of the entire year?
If you answered "yes" to question #1, the Rob and Danielle corporation will be happy to upgrade your beer from Miller Light to Heinekin and your Pizza to two toppings. If you answere "yes" to question #1 but you are lying, we will find you, rip off your arms and beat you with them. (and then we'll give your pizza to the guy with the truck).

I __________, hereby state this application to be void of false statements. Failure to produce proof of pizza and beer enjoyment will result in my immediate termination.

Any applicants?


...Can I just add that I ran out to check on my coffee table that I JUST finished sealing and left to dry in the sun. Yeah. It's RAINING all over it. Screw it, If anyone needs me I'll be watching Season 3 of Sex and the City.