I need that on my desk by COB

I would like to start off this email by stating that I WON the poole my family had going for the Eagles Superbowl. $20! (almost pays for the gas and tolls it cost me to get there).

So, now that I'm all corporate and grown up, I've decided something. Work is boring. No, but I mean like BORING. A lot of my day is taken up by adults who need to feel important through using too many acronyms, scheduling pointless meetings (where all you decide on is that you should meet again) and using RIDICULOUS metaphors. I plan to take the next few weeks to exploit this discovery even more, but I want to start with the metaphors. Why? Because THEY'RE HILARIOUS. This past week a buddy and I have taken it upon ourselves to write down every time someone uses a metaphor. Kids, ask your parents, it's like a whole other language. After just four days (it's Thursday) this is what we've come up with (I'm curious if anyone else hears these at the office):
1.) That program is the long pole in the tent
2.) presenting this document is just another stick to beat them with
3.) You're putting the cart before the horse
4.) Could you shed some light on this for me?
5.) There's no need to re-invent the wheel
6.) I don't want to go hold hands and sing kum-bah-ya
7.) Everyone has a hand in the pot
8.) Let's throw this boomerang and see what comes back
9.) You don't want to pull that string. It goes a long way
10.) They're in there having a peeing contest.

Okay, I'll stop after ten...I may have to add more later though. There are some REALLY good ones out there. Other than this, I'm going to VA this weekend to hear my pal Pete's band play (Check them out at www.subjecttochangemusic.com) They have two bands opening for them and they're playing at the Norva and if you know anything about Hampton Roads, you know this means they can walk and chew gum. Seriously, they rock the house. Okay y'all. Have a good one.