Son of a "Beep"

So. At 11pm EST I found out what the (bleeping) beep was. In our 'basement' is the Verizon Fios box with a "back up" battery (It's about half the size of a car battery). It's red "replace me" light was on, and the box had a Verizon phone number to call if you needed assistance.
I think we all know how that went. Let's just say "My call is very important to them....blah blah blah".
All told it took over an hour to get the guy who actually knew what I was talking about. He said although they typically last 3 to 4 years, the battery is only guaranteed for one year and -oops- it's been 15 months since we had ours installed. That means it's not covered and we have to pay for it.
Like hell we do.
As I was arguing with him, he finally got exasperated and said I was welcome to detach the battery and re-attach it to see if it reset. As I pulled out the battery, I noticed a sticker that said "Charged as of 4/18/2006". Hmmmmm. I wondered aloud (into the phone, LOUDLY) how the battery could be 15 months old if it was charged in 2006. Then I began hypothesizing that maybe the installer gave us an OLD battery when he installed our unit.
There was silence on the other end of the line......and then.....

"Okay, you win. I'll ship a new one free of charge on Monday".

I'm a pretty big deal.